Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Cum at omnis doloremque totam.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What was the worst spanking you ever got? Why did you get it, and how was it given to you?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Barbra Streisand on New Album, Not Being Paid Enough for Meet the Fockers - Variety

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Zelenskyy says Russian drivers 'didn't know anything' about role in audacious drone attack - ABC News

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why is digital marketing important?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Scientists Stunned by Evidence of Ancient Birds Nested in the Arctic - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why do old men think young women and girls would want them over guys their own age?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t cotton to rapists

Aaron Rodgers Is Married Now - The Cut

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

MSU Taps J Batt As Next Director of Athletics - Michigan State University Athletics

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Geologists Just Cracked Open a 500-Million-Year Mystery in the Grand Canyon — What They Found Is Rewriting Earth’s History - Indian Defence Review

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How do scammers communicate? Do they have a specific language or slang?

I can count

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I actually pay taxes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I can read

I see through liars

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet